Dinner #1: How do we maintain relationships while disagreeing? [Jan 24]

Some of the questions we’ll discuss.

  • What is it about disagreeing that makes it so hard?
    • Pride?
    • Fear of being wrong?
    • Self-preservation?
    • Fear for someone else?
  • What has fueled your most vehement disagreements?
  • What do we focus on other than the disagreement?
  • How do we continue to humanize our opposite?
  • How do you deal with conflict in a relationship?
  • How do you deal with conflict in a close relationship when the other party shuts down?
  • What is your pattern for dealing with your own negative emotions (sadness, hurt, embarrassment, anger, offense)?
  • Why don’t we avoid conflict?
  • What are the benefits of working through conflict?
  • What does it mean to “work through” conflict without having to agree on the specific topic?

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“It’s okay to disagree with the thoughts or opinions expressed by other people. That doesn’t give you the right to deny any sense they might make. Nor does it give you a right to accuse someone of poorly expressing their beliefs just because you don’t like what they are saying. Learn to recognize good writing when you read it, even if it means overcoming your pride and opening your mind beyond what is comfortable.”
― Ashly Lorenzana

“I don’t have to agree with you to like you or respect you.”
― Anthony Bourdain

“Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if the whole world disagrees with it.”
― Maimonides, The Guide for the Perplexed

“I will never compromise Truth for the sake of getting along with people who can only get along when we agree.”
― D.R. Silva

“That was excellently observed’, say I, when I read a passage in an author, where his opinion agrees with mine. When we differ, there I pronounce him to be mistaken.”
― Jonathan Swift

“The more evolved you are the less you will agree or disagree with others, and the more you will gently sift through the fullness of what people are offering and gratefully take only what you need.”
― Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life

“Instead of seeing how much pain I can dish out towards those I disagree with, or who I believe have done me wrong, I seek to follow the golden rule and use my words and behavior to create more of what the world needs – love, compassion, and connection.”
― Aspen Baker

Conflict in itself is like a knife: It can destroy, cause pain or be an invaluable tool. It all depends on how you use it. Division is bad, but disagreement can be good. The difference is that division treats the issue as more important than the person you have the issue with. Disagreement loves the person more than the problem.
― Relevant Magazine

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